I got a war in my mind.

I've been meaning to write about my feelings lately but my mind is too cluttered, I don't even know how to start. 

I have several topics in  my head but I could not choose what to write about, so please bear with me. 

Can you believe that we are at the last quarter of the year already? It's October! It seems like it was only yesterday when my Little Miss was born and now she already knows how to walk on her own. 

Honestly, this year has been pretty challenging for me, well for us. They say, first year's the hardest! I guess that's true. I guess no one can really prepare you for the battle that adult life has to offer and yes, I admit. It is difficult. 

There are so many things to think about and time is always not enough. Sometimes, I just want to cry my heart out and just let the feelings flow. But I couldn't. It feels like I need to lock it all inside because people would never understand. 

But I don't want to go crazy! I just feel really sad because even if I try to make the feelings go away, I just can't. 
It lingers. It's as if I am this big bag of ziplock, trying so hard to keep everything inside. no spills, no holes, no room for air to pass through. 

I could not explain, I could not even express, all I know is that

I got a war in my mind. 

Did this ever happen to you? If yes, how did you survive? 

xx